


Intertwined

by spinster



Category: OLDCODEX (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon, Forbidden Love, M/M, Painter Yorke, Tatsun, Unconventional Love, Yorke - Freeform, garden gate, oldcodex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-03 00:50:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6589978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinster/pseuds/spinster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like the fusion of music and art that makes up their band, two lives are bound by an unconventional love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Yorke's love letter

_Dearest Tatsu,_

  
_I'm not good with this. I can hold a paint brush and stroke it all day, but writing is a different thing. It tires my fingers easily. Nevertheless, I'll do my best. I can type this in but I truly believe that my hand writing would best convey my feelings for you._

_How many years has it been? 6 years? 7? I can't remember anymore. It's a good thing we never talked about celebrating anniversaries, because if we do… Well, I'll get a mouthful from you for sure. I can't remember the exact date when I first saw you but... I can vividly recall how our first encounter went. Right now, as I'm writing this, I can even play the scenario in my head. You were standing on that corner while watching me on one of my live painting sessions. You caught my eye while I was giving my final bow to the audience. There are no words enough to describe my vision of you on that day. Just that… You were like a fallen angel. Ethereal. Your skin glowed; the eyes that were almost hidden by your long fringes gave you an aura of mystery. And you were smiling... as if you saw a prey that is ready to fall under your trap. And I did. There was no turning back._

 

_You approached me and we talked on a nearby cafe. I should've gone on to my next commitment, but I was so ensnared by you that it was next to impossible to do so._

 

_You introduced yourself as Tatsuhisa Suzuki, the seiyuu and front man of oldcodex. Of course I've heard of you. You are practically an idol but you felt compelled to introduce yourself anyway. You said that you bought several of my paintings and you were awed. You were such a sight, so much so that I let you did the talking. And you did. You shared your vision for your band, your love for music and art, and how you think those two intertwines and balances each other perfectly. You said you liked my work and offered me a chance to collaborate for the visuals of your band. I should've said no, my recent collaboration with Miyavi, my work with other artists and my live sessions are keeping me occupied I barely had a chance to sleep, let alone have a decent social life. But then you boldly held my hand and begged with that low voice (which I found that you rarely use, unless you want something to go your way)._

 

_We haven't even talked about compensation, but you convinced me quickly enough to say yes._

 

_Weeks passed, Suzuki -kun was easily replaced with Tatsu as we got close to each other. You were known for being difficult to work with. They said you were temperamental, perfectionist and are choosy with the types of work that you accept. But for some reason, you’re reasoning and thinking complimented mine. We work well together. We thrived. I was fully embraced, considering that the work that I'm doing was just part time. I was happy with you and the band as a whole. It was a good feeling, especially when I get a pat in that back or a smile of encouragement from you._

 

_But then you made it a habit to call me every night, remember? Your timing is so great that it always happens whenever I'm ready to hit the sack. You were always on a state of drunkenness when you do it too. I even joked about it, calling it ta2's love calls. You rambled on and on how you want me to be an official member of the band. That I'm the greatest and that you like me. The first time I heard those words, of your liking me, I felt a sense of euphoria coupled with fear. It was hard to explain._

 

_One thing is for sure during that time though, some feeling that I denied ever being there started coming out._

 

_(My original plan was to send you a love letter, but this is starting to be more of reminiscing. In any case, please indulge me. As I'm writing this, I feel like going through the best years of my life all over again... )_

 

_And so the nightly calls went on. During those calls you were so persistent to the point where you sound like a petulant kid when I said I would think about it. I smile when you whine like a child. When you're sober the next morning, you act differently, approaching me on the studio, with a suave 'Please think about it' without a hint of apology for disturbing my sleep the night before. Ah, you were truly spoiled. We never really had a chance to thoroughly discuss it, but then Valentine's day came. On the band's after party, you literally dragged me off on a remote bar to talk. While consuming a large amount of alcohol, you blurted out that having me on the band will be beneficial to oldcodex… to you._

 

_Then after a long awkward pause, you said something that will change my life forever. You said you're in love with me._

 

_I did not know what to say. I saw how your face fell after getting nothing but silence from me but you still went on. You told me that you fell in love with my work first. After getting to know me, my innocence, my child like demeanor and my sincere concern and appreciation for everyone, you said you fell even harder. I was speechless. You must’ve felt my chaotic state and was gracious enough to end that night. But before we parted, you gave me your favorite skull ring. I can still remember what you said word for word; that you understand if I walk away, that it’s normal to be freaked out when faced with a declaration from a man._

 

_Nevertheless, you wanted me to keep the ring as a symbol of either the beginning of a new bond between us or the end of our friendship, whatever my decision may be._

 

_You kissed me in the forehead and left._

 

_I never told you this but did you know I cried that night? I should've been happy that you love me because I felt the same way but I'm afraid of going that route with you… I composed myself and called you an hour later. Thank goodness you never thought to record that conversation. It was so embarrassing. I was like a woman responding to a man's courtship. I was glad that you were sober then. Do you still remember? I laid all my fears. Of how the first person that I loved broke up with me because of my possessiveness. He said I was sick in the head. You see, that carved a hole in my heart because it's true. Who in their right mind would go on a homosexual relationship without a care for what other people might think and would even expect to start a family? This is what I wanted and it has not changed. I said that I like you so much and that I don't want to lose whatever we have because of my selfish desires. What you said made my heart swell._

 

_You're not crazy for wanting those things because I wanted them too. Let me be a part of your dreams'_

 

_You gave me time to think things through. You told me you would wait until I feel like giving myself to the band and to you as a partner. And then as if nothing major just happened, or maybe it was your way to put me at ease; you went on with your ideas for the next music video._

 

_Afterwards, I held your ring close to my chest and slept with a smile on my face._

 

_Your solo career and oldcodex's popularity even soared higher but your feet were still firmly planted on the ground. I admired that so much. Our relationship was getting better, you joked many times that we are on the courtship stage and you even had my shirts copied. Your face lights up whenever Sugaya takes notice of our 'couple shirts' You were so cute. The more I get involved with the band, the more I realize that you have the tendency to push yourself to the limits. You worked harder than everyone else. You often stayed at the studio late to oversee composition and on one of those nights when I saw you passed out during a recording I thought to myself; I need to take care of you, to always be there to help you out in every difficult situation, I wanted to be your partner in every sense of the word._

 

_I hated myself for waiting 10 months to reach a decision._

 

_After finally coming to terms with my feelings for you, I had a jeweller replicate your skull ring and painted a portrait of you. I was thinking of a place where I can finally declare my love and accept your feelings while giving them when you called and invited me to play monster hunter at your home. It was perfect. I made you cry. Tears were falling from your face whilst joking that we were practically married because of the rings and that oldcodex is the first band in Japan with married members. You were so adorable. We played, made love, slept and laughed while riding the train the next morning._

  
_All of it will be etched in my memory forever._

 

_We were so happy as the years go by. We faced difficulties with the band, from the members leaving to struggling with finances but we were able to pull it off with our great team work. Outside of work, we started talking about living together, of putting our stuff together and having our business. You indulge me with my dream of adopting a little girl to complete our future home. I felt that we're close to that dream. My greatest dream._

 

_But then everything changed with the death of your friend. I've met that person only a couple of times but I knew that you grew up with him and he is like a brother to you. You shut yourself in your home after asking for a leave at work. You refused to talk to everyone, even me. The only time that I heard from you was when you update your journal, and even there, through your words, I can feel that you were in so much pain. I hated myself for not being there just because I adhered to your wishes. I should be the one to accompany you in your grief. I've been through the same agony. Me, of all people, should know what you're going through and would know how to ease your burdens._

 

_With that thought, I started grabbing a pen and a paper. Lyrics flowed like water on that medium. Finally, I found something that would bridge my feelings to you. I felt confident that I will finally be able to fully help you._

 

_And so, gathering enough courage, I practically stormed your apartment. You let me in after letting you know that I'm going to camp outside if you refuse._

 

_It didn't take a while before you cried in my arms. You told me then that you don't want to go thru the same thing again, afterwards over and over, as if saying a chant; you said that it was not worth it._

 

_The meaning of it was lost to me during that time and it took me a while to understand it's implication._

 

_It took a while, but you recovered. You hugged me the day you were back at work and thanked me for my help over and over. When we were alone together, you request me to sing Garden gate to you. My song to you puts you at ease and lulls you to sleep. During your interview, you even credited me for helping you get back on your feet while talking about your future plans animatedly. Yes, the jolly Tatsun that everyone adore is back._

 

_My Tatsu never fully resurfaced._

 

_It started with the ring. You ceased wearing it. When I asked you about it, you said it did not fit anymore but you refused when I offered to have it sized. I told myself over and over that it did not mean anything and tried hard to push it aside and continue to be your supportive partner. We started having arguments afterwards, mainly because of me. Whenever I bring up the subject of our living together, you try to cut me off or change the subject, unlike before. When I talked about how I wanted to adopt a little girl because of the kid on our music video you said that society will condemn me, before walking away. All the personal dreams that we built for how many years, was lost. Your drive was solely focused on the band and your career. You told me that I should do the same and refrain from dwelling on unrealistic goals._

 

_It left me devastated._

 

_I told myself that you probably needed time, so I stopped talking about it. I took your advice and prioritized the band and my painting career. Our relationship remained. You were still devoted to me. We go out, watch movie on your home, drink together and we even travel but everything was about the present. I felt like time was keeping up to me and it is about to take you away anytime. My old insecurities came back and started eating me from the inside._

 

_To add to my fears, you started getting close with Daisuke Ono. When we talk, it was all about him. How cool he is, how devoted he is to his craft and how he was able to establish himself in the seiyuu industry. I felt inferior when compared with him. I'm a man on my thirties but thinking how my boyfriend admires someone else so much brings out the jealousy in me. So much so that I cry myself to sleep almost every night._

 

_And so the incident 2 weeks ago happened. Tatsu I just wanted to let you know that I deeply regretted it._

 

_I'm sorry. Because of me you had to be in that situation._

 

I put down my pen and buried myself in my hands. After some time, I left my unfinished letter and went to my balcony to look up to the sky. It used to be my source of inspiration, but tonight, instead of calming me like it usually does, it made me remember the incident from 2 weeks ago.

 

We were watching television when news of allowed same sex marriage in the US aired. I placed my arms around Tatsu who was sitting beside me. I was overjoyed. The news put me in good mood for some reason. I fixed my gaze at Tatsu, whose face was unreadable. I held him closer _'Let's go to the US?'_ I said, smiling.

 

Tatsu looked at me, bewildered. _'Don't get started with that ridiculousness please.'_ His response to me seemed to have represented the way he felt about our relationship altogether.

 

All the feelings that I bottled up poured out. I snapped. _'Is that all I am to you now? Someone pathetic? Just because I was trying to rekindle our plans?'_

 

Tatsu let out a sigh. _'No Yorke. But you're venturing on unrealistic dreams. We are in Japan and we are constantly in the public eye. You're thinking immaturely.'_ He said as if lecturing a child.

 

 _'But you have no qualms at flirting with Daisuke Ono on your seiyuu event. In front of everyone.'_ My voice was laced with venom.

 

Tatsu stood up. He looked tired and worn out but I can feel that he was angered. _'You know what Yorke, talk to me after you calmed down. You're being irrational.'_ He started walking out the door.

 

 _'Tatsu, what happened? You wanted this before. This was... This was our dream. What changed it? What do I need to do to get the old you back?'_ Something warm trickled from my cheeks. I was crying.

 

Tatsu stopped and looked back at me. His features softened somehow. _'We are adults. You should know by know that dreams does not always transpose to reality.'_

 

There was a long silence. I can barely see Tatsu because of the constant flow of tears in my eyes.

 

' _I think... We should separate for a while.'_

 

A sudden pain hit my chest, making me unable to breath. All the pain that I felt in the past was nothing compared to the one that is gripping my insides because of Tatsu's declaration. It hurts so much. Still, I mustered all my remaining strength to talk. _'I told you what I was like since the beginning. I told you I would want to go this path with you... I thought you accepted me like this... I thought you understood... You said you do...'_ I said in between every hiccup.  
I heard Tatsu sob. I want to hold him, to beg him to take back what he said, anything that would wake us up from this nightmare... But I can't look at him. I'm afraid of seeing the rejection in his eyes, the disappointment and most of all, the conviction to let go of us. My heart would not be able to hold out.

 

_’I'm sorry Yorke. I love you so much but... we need this.'_

 

With that he walked away.

 

I am the one who filed for an indefinite leave from the band after the incident. I buried myself at home doing nothing, staring at my ceiling all day. It took a few days before I can grab a brush and paint, and even then, my heart is not set on the canvass like it usually does. I miss Tatsu. Is he doing well I wonder? Does he even think about me? Will he ever forgive me? Thinking about it, I was the one in the wrong. I selfishly impose my dreams on him, without thinking of the consequences. It took him a long time to get to where he was. Me who got in when everything was established may never fully understand. He built oldcodex out of sweat, blood and tears, and I was practically asking him to throw it all away. His career, his life’s work.

 

I should have waited, waited before his dream was well and truly fulfilled and helped him in every step instead like I originally vowed when I accepted Tatsu's love.

 

I went back to finish my letter.

 

_It was selfish of me I know. What I asked from you was unreasonable; I thought little of what would happen to your career. I realized now that if I truly love you, I should wait when you are ready to share my dream. And that's what I'm going to do if you give me another chance._

_But if you decide to end our relationship, I'll accept it as that is a consequence that I must bear._

_Whatever your decision may be, rest assured that I'd still be a driving force in your life and I would continue standing next to you on every stage as long as you need me to._

_Attached on this letter is your skull ring. It's time that it gets back to its owner. I would love to have it back but only if you still feel the same love that you felt years ago and If you would like to start over._

_I would be at the same cafe where we first met tomorrow afternoon. I'm hoping against hope to see you there. If not, do not worry as I'll stop hoping, no matter how hard it is._

_Take care of yourself._

_I love you. Always._

_Yorke_

 

 

****

I never made it... I did not...

My only wish... Right now...

I want to hold you.

One last time.

 

TBC~


	2. Tatsu's plea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the darkest moment of their lives, it was Tatsu's turn to bare his heart, hoping it would reach the man that he loves.

_My 49,_

 

_I've thought long and hard where to write my response to you and decided my diary is the best medium to put it. This entry is set to private so that only us can see._

 

_T_ _his time, I'll be the one to take you to a trip down memory lane._

 

_Y_ _ou may call it Tatsuhisa Suzuki's version of our story._

 

_It's no different from yours of course except that this time, I'll let you know how I felt being with you all these years._

 

_It_ _started with a random trip to the gallery. I have no interest in purchasing anything then. That time, paintings and artworks are something that I considered as visual stimulators. I'm not the type who finds a deeper meaning to them._

 

_That is until I saw a painting that will set the course of my path to you._

 

_The colors and the figures on that piece reminded me of my favorite place back in my hometown; the one where I run to when melancholia gets the better of me. You captured it vividly._

 

_I checked for the artist's signature and it said 'My name is Yorke'._

 

_I went back home with your paintings in tow and researched your other works thru your website. In between my voice acting commitments and band rehearsals that was all I did and it got me hooked with the person behind the artworks even more._

 

 _I_ _was excited with the fact that you work with musicians and even went on a tour with Miyavi. At that time what I thought was that I must be lucky since we have something in common. It will not be hard to start a conversation with you, if ever._

 

_That night I made a sudden decision. I need to meet you in the flesh._

 

_Silly wasn't it? Wanting to meet a person on a basis of one of his works. I've never been a big fan of anyone and that was the first time I've ever felt that way. It was like you communicated to me thru your art...that we had that connection. Was it destiny like how some people explain such phenomenon? I don't know. I might never know._

 

_You implied on your letter that I was calm and composed when I went to your live painting for the first time. You were wrong._

 

_I was in awe._

 

_With every stroke of the brush, butterflies fluttered on my stomach. The way you move with grace, the way you created a rhythm with every action that you impose on that canvass and the way your expressive eyes evoked the feelings captured by your art. It was breathtaking._

 

_You were the most beautiful piece of art in that room._

 

_Gathering all of my courage and will power, I approached you and invited you to that cafe. I chattered a lot didn't I? I might have sounded confident that time but It was actually my way of easing the tension I felt inside. All of the things I said though, were my genuine feelings. You were the missing piece that oldcodex needed._

 

_It was later on that I realize that there was a personal motive behind that approach._

 

_And so you became a part timer for oldcodex. Everyone adored you right off the bat. Your vision gave hope to a band plagued with uncertainty with members leaving and with finances in disarray. For the first time I enjoyed the late night sessions at the studio, the brainstorming and yes, even the budgetting. All because you were there._

 

_Because of you the people who thought I was difficult to work with started seeing me in a different light._

 

_My mind was set. I'll do whatever it takes to make you an official member of the band._

 

_I thought that the band was the only reason why I wanted you so badly. But everyday, when I see your welcoming smile at the studio, your comforting words when the band fails at getting a deal, the food waiting for me on my desk when I'm not in a good mood, all of those gestures Yorke, made me fall in love with you._

 

 _I_ _tried fighting it. Once I even made myself believe that it was all because I saw you as an older brother that I never had, but then later that day you shared your strawberries with me and the giddiness that I felt contradicted that conviction._

 

_What I felt for you was definitely not platonic..._

 

_Everyday afterwards was a battle for me. I wanted to tell you everything. I felt like if I won't I'm just going to explode and die. But it wasn't easy. How would someone so innocent take such confession? Will it gross you out? Losing you was not something that I was willing to risk._

 

_So I turned to alcohol. I called you every night while at my drunken stupor. It was the only way that I can think of that will give me courage to confess. It strengthened my resolve to court you like a man does with a woman._

 

_I was glad that you were gracious enough to indulge me._

 

_And so that moment, when I finally were able to tell you my feelings. You did not respond, and for a moment there I thought you're going to tell me that I was disgusting, but something in your eyes made me understand that it was fear that's holding you back._

 

_Do you know why I gave you my most treasured ring?_

 

_Because I can't stand an existence where I am nothing but a mere memory to you. I wanted to be physically part of your life no matter what. Even if you reject me, I'll be consoled with the fact that you will have a piece of me wherever you go._

 

_I cried that night too, just like you did._

 

_And then you called and bared your heart. I can't believe my good luck that you felt the same way. I understood your hesitation then but I was willing to wait no matter what it takes. Because finally, I met a person who share the same dream._

 

_Because I love you._

 

_It took us 10 months, but we made it. I was officially your boyfriend and partner. The years that followed, those were the best. I was blessed in all aspects of my life. We were getting recognition in the music industry. A future is laid in front of me, a future with you... A family. Things that I genuinely wanted. My family even gave us their blessing. My mom adores you._

 

 _We_ _were truly happy._

 

_Never once did I imagine that the happiness that we achieved is as fragile as glass._

 

_When I lost my best friend, he took with him a piece of me. Losing him made me rethink my relationship with you. I started acknowledging that what we have is something that is not accepted by society. If we did not have the celebrity status that would have been fine, but we are constantly in the public eye._

 

_What if you realise that having this relationship is not worth it?_

 

_I_ _f you get to live with me and see more of my flaws would you leave?_

 

_Would you leave if everyone that we knew started condemning us for having this unacceptable relationship?_

 

_That's a gamble that I'm not willing to take. I am convinced that losing another loved one would be something that I won't be able to bear._

 

_If_ _I lose you, there will be nothing left._

 

_When you went to my home and sang me that song, it caused a conflict in my feelings. You were an angel who descended down at one of the darkest moments of my life. Your voice soothed the very core of my soul._

 

_But how can I deserve such a person? Truly you're someone who is not meant for a weakling like me and sooner or later, you'll realize it._

 

_And so I had to put up my barriers Yorke. I know it was cowardice but that is the only thing that can pacify my fears._

 

_I started focusing hard on my work. I thought that will lessen my dependency of you. I want to cut the times when all I ever think about is you. I removed our ring from my finger. It was safe. It will not cause me any more heartaches._

 

_But it fucking hurt. To turn away from you, just as when you were trying so hard to put the pieces back. It hurt when you were pushed to believe that I'm in love with somebody else. It pains me to push all our plans aside. I wanted to stab myself, I wanted to punch myself in the head... You don't deserve the kind of treatment I was giving._

 

_I was holding back a lot, and it took quite a toll on you. You were losing weight, you were reduced to jealousy... to begging..._

 

_I was being unfair._

 

_I don't want to continue being unjust to you that's why I had to make a decision._

 

_Either I face my fears or give you up._

 

_In the end, I chose the safest decision. Our last quarrel was the final straw. I gave you up._

 

_I gave up on the person who took care of me and showered me with nothing but love and kindness, the person that I love with all my heart and soul._

 

_Walking away from you that day, was the hardest thing that I did in my life. I chose to give up our dreams and convince myself it was all a folly. Just because I was afraid..._

 

_I was no different from that person who hurt you in the past... No, I was a hundred times worse. I've given you nothing but false hope._

 

_I thought it was for the best. I ..._

 

\- My thoughts and my writing were halted when the phone rang.

 

It was Ryuuta.

 

 _"How is he?'"_ He asked the moment I answered the phone.

 

Hearing the voice of an old friend made the emotions well up, I sobbed. _"he... Is still in a coma"._

 

I heard a sob escape from Ryuuta too. But he did not let it show as his voice was calm when he asked. _"how are you... how are you taking this?"_

 

I took a glance on the other side of the hospital room where Yorke lay. The sobs turned into cries. _"I don't know anymore Ryuuta.... It was... All of this... Is my fault"_

 

If only I have been on our meeting place earlier.

 

Reading Yorke's letter convinced me even more that I made the wrong decision, but it took me a while to decide whether or not to meet him. I needed more time to gather enough courage to face him.

 

By the time that I finally decided to screw everything and see him once more, it was too late.

 

 _"I saw his bicycle and Yorke... He was lying there... There was blood all over'"_ I cried.

 

_"Tatsun... I can't say anything to console you, but please stay strong... For Yorke"._

 

I was trying to, but there are times when my faith wavers. But I won't tell Ryuuta that, that will be unfair to him. _"I am trying..."_ I said instead, whilst wiping my tears. _"Please come see him Ryuuta. Talk to him. The doctor said that it will help"._

 

Ryuuta took a while to respond. _"As much as I want to, I know I'm not the one that he needs. That... should be your responsibility... But I'll pray Tatsun"._

 

It was my turn to be silent. We both knew the meaning of the words that were just said.

 

Ryuuta was in love with Yorke for the longest time.

 

Nobody brought it up but when Yorke and I got together, but things got awkward between me and Ryuuta. it was something that was left unsaid when he departed from the band.

 

Another one of my sins... Hurting a dear friend.

 

_"Tatsun, Yorke loves you so much. I am confident that he's fighting for his life right now, because he wants to be with you again. So... Stay strong and tell him everyday how much you love him"._

 

_"Ryuuta. I..."_

 

 _"Dont... please don't. I love you my dear friend. No matter what happens always remember that. I'll see you and Yorke soon."_ He immediately cut me off, anticipating the burst of apology from me.

 

_"Thank you. Ryuuta. I love you too"._

 

 _"In a platonic kind of way right?"_ It was so like Ryuuta, always trying to lighten up even the darkest of situations

 

_"Of course"._

 

After our conversation I went back and sat beside the bed of my sleeping lover. Everything was silent except for Yorke's steady breathing. I held his hand and wept again _._

 

I've lost track of the number of times that I cried since his accident.

 

The worst thing is, nothing seemed to change no matter how hard I weep and plea. He is still there, sleeping as if he'd already forgotten the real world.

 

It hurt to face the consequences of my actions.

 

_"Yorke, I know you can hear me... so... please wake up. You know I can't live without you. You... You're the only person who understood... I know I took you for granted but please please let me atone'_

 

It hurt just to breath.

 

_'... I beg you please hear me. I'm losing hope.'_

 

I placed his hand on my heart hoping that he will feel my remorse. _'It was all my fault. Please forgive me"._

 

Again I was taunted by the deafening silence of the room.

 

After a while I gently placed his hand back to his sides, wiped my tears, stood and decided to went back to my diary. No matter what happens, I must finish it before Yorke wakes up.

 

A heartfelt love letter deserves an equally loving response after all.

 

_...I cried when I read your letter and contemplated on your message. How can you be so kind? After everything that I've done to you, you still think of what's best for me._

 

_I was a fool all along._

 

_I rushed happily to our meeting place. The only thing on my mind then was how I am going to apologize to you and tell you over and over how much I love you. I was going to beg for us to start over. I'll do everything to undo the pain that I caused you._

 

_But why? Why is life so cruel to you? It should have been me that was hit by that stupid truck._

 

_Why do you have to endure so much pain because of me?_

 

_Please come back to me soon. This time I promise I'll make you the happiest person in the whole world. There will be no more holding back._

 

_I will love and cherish you like you deserve._

 

_I'll be waiting for the day when we wear our rings again._

 

_I'll look forward to the day when we can stand on the same stage again._

 

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

 

_I'll be waiting for you._

 

_Always,_

_Your Tatsu._

 

_***_

 

Fireworks displayed in the horizon as I stood on the window of the hospital room, listening to Yorke's recording whilst holding our rings. It gave me renewed hope. Soon these rings will be worn on our fingers again.

 

 

_Wake me up,_

_When you feel like talking_

_Can you feel me right now_

_Let me know..._

 

 

_"Tat...su..."_

 

A weak, faint voice suddenly mingled with the song that I've been playing, I looked back at the bed and saw...

 

_"Yorke..."_

 

My eyes welled up with tears. Yorke was looking at me with so much love and he slowly extended his hand to me.

 

...I held and kissed them.

 

_'Welcome back, my love'._

 

_~TBC~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is so hard. I might look back some time and edit some bits and pieces here, but for the meantime I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Shoutout to the OCD fans from Mexico reading this fic. Please leave a comment if you have reactions or suggestions. 
> 
> Oh and by the way, belated happy birthday Yorke! this one's for you! lol!

**Author's Note:**

> I have not seen any Yorke x Tatsuhisa (Tatsun) fanfic so I decided to post one. These two had a profound effect on my life. After having suffered from depression, I was able to write again after following them and oldcodex as a whole. Their music rekindled my fangirl heart and the story of these two revived my passion for writing.
> 
> I'm not that good of a writer but I did my best here. Some bits and pieces of the story are canon...


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